ArenaNet Introduces The Guild Wars 2 Warrior

This RSS Feed thing is nice. This morning I woke up to news about the next Guild Wars 2 profession – The Warrior. In my discussions about the sequel, it wasn’t clear if the meat shield would even be included. Well, the latest information from ArenaNet removes all doubt. It’s just not an MMORPG without a Warrior. Many of you might be excited by this new information. The videos posted on the official Guild Wars 2 website look stunning. Me, I’m still a bit underwhelmed. Not because of the graphics, but because of the audio. More specifically, the words.

I’ll start with a story. Last night I was playing Halo. Thanks to a recent patch, I’m able to play it again. By today’s standards, the graphics are pitiful. They’re so bad that I was starting to get nauseous. 3D gaming has come a long way in the last decade. Yet, something interesting happened… I was having fun. Halo still has fun physics and great online combat. I was doing fairly well too. The announcer would say things like, “double kill”, “triple kill”, “killing spree” and “running riot”.

I’m not sure why that amused me so, but to hear the words “running riot” was highly satisfying.

Yet, when I hear the battle cries from Guild Wars 2, I cringe. It’s like listening to the intro of a really great song, and then the lead singer starts squealing like a little girl. It just doesn’t fit. I’m not exactly sure why, but I don’t like the Guild Wars 2 voice acting. Maybe it’s because the lines are cheesy. But I like 80’s movies and that’s like the utopia of cheesy one-liners. “I’ll be back” and “Stick around” are classic Arnold Schwarzenegger words. Those movies were entertaining to me. No, these lines are more like Steven Segal lines. “You can take that to the bank… the blood bank.” It just feels forced, unnatural.

No, wait, that’s not fair to Steven Segal. His movies are fun to me… one guy… beating up punks in the bad parts of Brooklyn… now that’s entertainment! But with Guild Wars 2, they seem like two different things being wielded together.

When you watch the videos, you’ll see this big burly guy say “Time to bust some heads.” Now that sounds cool when I read it. But in the video, it just sounds too soft. Maybe if Arnold or Steven were reading the lines it would work.

Hey, now there’s an idea on how to fix this problem. Arnold is busy with the whole governor thing, but maybe ArenaNet could hire famous 80’s action actors for voice overs… Segal, Sylvester Stallone and Hulk Hogan. My personal favorite, as he has a history of MMORPG work, Mr. T!

Tell him to put down that Mohawk Grenade and get to work on a next generation MMORPG.

Oh, and ArenaNet announced the Trait System. Maybe they felt their 10-slot skill-bar system wasn’t difficult enough, so they added more complexity. You can read about it at the official Guild Wars 2 website. I’d explain it here, but it didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Why can’t these games be simple… like Halo… you pick up a Sniper Rifle (or in GW2 times, a longbow) and you shoot the other guy. There’s no need for a skill bar or a Trait System… just a Rocket Launcher and a Sniper Rifle. Now that’s balance!